1000 Moments of Hetalia Stupidity
by The Princess of Nightmares
Summary: There could be normal times in the UN, but do we care? HECK NO! This is a collection of the more common stupid moments. Rated T for cussing.
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: 90% of this came from my RP's with some awesomely insane friends I have, Canada-obsessed and Germany/Britain-obsessed. I changed the names a bit because we use our OC's a lot. Enjoy our stupidity~! :3

BTW, I don't own Hetalia.

(-)

**1. A Simple Camping Trip**

It all started when Italy invited EVERYONE IN THE WORLD to a camping trip that was supposed to be a "retreat" for the Axis Powers.

With everyone there, some crazy shit went down. Italy caught on fire at least 3 times, America broke every string of his guitar when trying to play "The Campfire Song Song", James the cat who killed Austria's piano, the war between Britain and Hungary, and a Shakespearean play put on by a drunken France.

They made a new law that day: No more camping trips.

**2.** **Germany Becomes a Woman**

No one knows what happened exactly that day, but somehow the German woke up as a woman. Italy glomped him/her every chance he got, driving Germany to the point of fleeing to Austria's house and hiding in the piano. Once Austria forced him/her out of the house, Germany was hit on by France (who was then beaten so severely he couldn't walk for a month).

The next day, Germany was a man again.

**3.** **The Bunny Army**

France did everything in his power to capture attractive nations, but nothing seemed to be working. He then somehow trained an entire army of 50,000 rabbits to follow his every order, no matter what the circumstances. The first thing he did was command the bunnies to capture England and put him in a steel cage. At first, everything seemed perfect, but then…

"What the bloody hell? No, no, stop! Stop biting me! You damn rabbits!"

"DUDE WE'RE DROWNING IN BUNNIES! I CAN'T DECIDE IF THIS IS THE MOST KICK-ASS THING EVER OR THE WORST THING EVER!"

"I like them, da. They bite quite strongly."

The bunnies were then deposited in Italy.

**4. Hilarious and Dark Secrets**

It started the day America was bored and decided to scan YouTube. What he discovered was better than anything the Allies had ever seen: Germany and Prussia drunk dancing to "Tik Tok."

"VHAT ZE HELL? I THOUGHT I ERASED THAT VIDEO!"

"Ve~! Germany, you're good at dancing~!"

"HOW CAN I BE AWESOME WHEN THIS LEAKED ALL OVER THE WORLD? I THOUGHT WE BURNED THAT CAMERA!"

**5.** **Hilarious and Dark Secrets part 2**

Germany decided to have Japan help him find embarrassing videos of the Allies to get back at them. 6 hours in, they struck gold.

"AIYAH! How did this video get out, aru?"

"Dude! You sang 'Reflection' from that movie about the kick-ass fighter girl? HAHA!"

"Don't forget he's in the girl's outfit, mon cher~."

"…bloody hell…"

"This needs more blood, da."

(-)

So…4 and 5 weren't RP's. Part one was something I thought of suddenly when I was listening to my iPod, and part two was from watching Mulan today.

But yeah, 1, 2, and 3 happened in my Canada-obsessed friend's front yard in the bitter cold. James the cat is actually her OC Miami's cat, but it was just so awesome that I couldn't help but leave it in.

Review Please! If this gets good reviews, I'll do more! Thanks!


	2. Chapter 2

YAY! People like this! Thanks to everyone who added it to your favorites; it means a lot to me! :D

Well, here we go. Numbers 6 through 10! Hetalia isn't mine. Sorry I haven't updated in a while; I've been extremely busy with school and stuff… ^ ^"

(-)

**6. The New Torture**

Russia was bored with all the usual torture he used on the Baltic States, so he decided to come up with a new form of torturing.

"M-my sides! They burn!"

"Don't say anything!"

"I CAN'T FEEL MY ARMS!"

When everyone found out what exactly they were doing, it was both hilarious and frightening at the same time.

Caramelldansen for 24 hours straight.

**7. Hello, my name is Death and I would like to sell you cookies!**

America needed money, that's what started the Death Scouts fiasco. One day, he decided to dress up in England's cloak, carry a scythe, and hoist around a wagon full of cookies.

"Hello, my name is Death and I would like to sell you cookies!"

"YOU BLOODY IDIOT WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH MY CLOAK?"

"Care to support Death Scouts?"

And now, every fall, little kids in Death uniforms go around and sell people cookies.

**8. DON'T PRESS THE BUTTON**

That was the catchphrase of everyone that day, when a mysterious red button appeared in the middle of a field. No one knew where it came from; no one knew what it would do if they pressed it. Everyone wanted to push it, but whenever they tried, another person would scream "DON'T PRESS THE BUTTON!"

They found out what it did when Canada accidentally hit it.

No one was allowed to speak of it again.

**9. Duct Tape is Pure Evil**

When Italy discovered duct tape, it was the second best thing he'd ever seen. He decorated the walls of Germany's house with it, wrapped 4 people up, and was about to begin decorating the front lawn when Germany came home.

"Ve~! Look Germany, I made the house pretty~!"

"You wanker! Get me out of this evil cocoon!"

No one was allowed to let Italy have duct tape ever again.

**10. Cats are not the Best Pets**

England decided he wanted a pet one day and thought a cat would be good. However, after searching all over, he couldn't find the perfect one. Finally, he decided it would be a great idea to turn France into a cat.

The day ended with Arthur standing on a table and Spain trying to calm "Francia el gato" down, since France would only respond to fluent Spanish.

And that's why France despises cats.

(-)

Okay, so… 6 was from a thing I did with my friend. We got up and Caramelldansen-ed in front of the whole school. And it hurt like hell, so naturally Russia would like it!

Also, 10 was inspired by a project for my Spanish class. We had to choose an animal and name it something in Spanish, then write a story on it. I was once going to do Esteban the Fish, but I learned what France was so I changed his name 5 minutes before we had to say what our animal and its name was.


End file.
